I always change my mind. I want to do something, because it sounds cool. I do it for a few weeks at the most, then quit. I kinda knew I'd come back. I just know I want to continue writing now. But Its too late to start now and my parents will yell at me. Tomorrow. I'll have a date with you blogspot, tomorrow.
Looks like I'm booked for the weekend. That's a shocker. Literally. I am very excited for tomorrow. I get to see a good friend :). And homemade tacos for dinner. Yumm. I also might see Incideous. But we'll see how that goes. Is it weird that I've been reading Cosmo online? Uhh...
Sometimes I wonder what things would be like under different circumstances. The big 'What If' everybody most likely asks themselves.
I mean don't get me wrong, I love where my life is at right now. Still I wonder if the grass could be greener, had I not made certain mistakes. What if, my life could be better? There are better things out there? I'm not used to such things as being paid for all the time, and it is quite nice on the other person's part, and I give them major credit. It makes me wonder. People could kill themselves asking this too often, being so unhappy and all. It was just a thought though, and I can't dwell. I'm content. Lets not make it bad?
***Interjection***
I'm getting Rosie's for dinner!
I mean don't get me wrong, I love where my life is at right now. Still I wonder if the grass could be greener, had I not made certain mistakes. What if, my life could be better? There are better things out there? I'm not used to such things as being paid for all the time, and it is quite nice on the other person's part, and I give them major credit. It makes me wonder. People could kill themselves asking this too often, being so unhappy and all. It was just a thought though, and I can't dwell. I'm content. Lets not make it bad?
Half the things I want to write about are too personal and I'm scared that certain people will see. Obviously that's not what this is meant for, but still. I'm writing about my life and I feel like I'm leaving so much out.
I haven't felt the want to write lately. Its not because I don't want to either. Its because I haven't been wanting to use the computer lately. I feel like every time I get on it, especially at night, Its such a hassle typing everything out and clicking buttons and ugh. Just not something I like. I'm the kind of person who likes a good pen and paper. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy HTML and computer things like that. It fascinates me. Just the thought of trying to get what I'm trying to say out is alot harder. If I were wanting to write a book, obviously a computer is the logical choice I would pick. Other than that, I prefer to put my thoughts on paper. But I'm not, and doing this suffices. I haven't written anything in forever.
So today is going to be nothing special, I'm just going to Joey's house. Probably force him to make me a turkey sandwich. It feels nice to be getting back into the old routine of things, but at the same time, I really miss the feeling of not knowing what my day will bring. On vacation I always had a choice: go to the beach, or stay and camp, go to the coffee shop, go shopping, go tubing or rafting, walk around and get exercise. It made it easier that everything was in the proximity of one campground too! Of course all good things, or most, must come to an end. I just miss it. No worries. No fears. No problems. I miss you Kernville, and I hope to see you soon.
So to pass time because I have absolutely nothing to do at home, I started reading my This World We Live In book. Its the third in a series. Its my favorite series yet, and I recommend it 100%. I read the first two books in a day and a half. They are kinda tiny, but still, that's pretty good.
So to pass time because I have absolutely nothing to do at home, I started reading my This World We Live In book. Its the third in a series. Its my favorite series yet, and I recommend it 100%. I read the first two books in a day and a half. They are kinda tiny, but still, that's pretty good.
I've got some bad news.
Mr. Pringles ears fell off at Kernville.
Sad Day.
So obviously I have been on vacation at Kernville for 2 weeks. Let me just say, it was a blast. Probably up there for one of my favorite times of the year. And I've only been twice. I went with Ashley and her family, and they might go back up in August. They kind of invited me, but I don't know whether Ash wants me to go again. Oh well, I'm lucky to have gone the first time. Met new people, hung out with the best friend, reading and tanning. Best vacation ever.
I'm sure its completely obvious by now, but I have a problem with getting obsessed with things. (Puppy, Jewelry, Painting) I'm over the painting phase, not because I don't like it, but because it is expensive. Now I am left with $95 and I don't know what to spend it on. Joey says I should save it, but I want something that will keep me busy now. I've been thinking about getting more supplies for jewelry (got into that for a while) but it is quite a bit of work, and gets to be not fun. I have been mulling over getting a guitar for ever and I really want one now. I know how to play one actual song and I was thrilled to use Ashley's guitar. I think It would be fun. The only thing is I've been wanting this journal I saw online for even longer. Whats a girl to do? Buy a guitar anyway :).
I'm sure its completely obvious by now, but I have a problem with getting obsessed with things. (Puppy, Jewelry, Painting) I'm over the painting phase, not because I don't like it, but because it is expensive. Now I am left with $95 and I don't know what to spend it on. Joey says I should save it, but I want something that will keep me busy now. I've been thinking about getting more supplies for jewelry (got into that for a while) but it is quite a bit of work, and gets to be not fun. I have been mulling over getting a guitar for ever and I really want one now. I know how to play one actual song and I was thrilled to use Ashley's guitar. I think It would be fun. The only thing is I've been wanting this journal I saw online for even longer. Whats a girl to do? Buy a guitar anyway :).
I feel like I have had nothing to say. The only new things are that my birthday is on the 6th of July and that I am leaving for Kernville on the 5th. I am getting even more stoked as the days pass. I haven't seen Joey that much this week, but I'm glad I'll be seeing him the next two days before I go. Today I just went shopping with my parents. I only bought a few things, and the rest I'm ordering online. I wasn't able to get the painting supplies which really bummed me out, but oh well. The things I am ordering when I come back are actually going to be of use. I can't wait for the 4th because we are going to celebrate my birthday and the holiday. Joey is gonna come over and my parents are going to cook a huge meal of ribs and stuff. Awesome! Then we are going to see fireworks at the highschool. I really can't wait. I just have to get through tomorrow.
Oh and I have to learn Morse Code.
My life is boring. But I think I'd rather have that then a jam packed life. I have a few plans tomorrow so I guess I will see how that goes. Don't I always say that though? Hm. I guess I could pick random topics and start writing.
Well, unlike the post from yesterday, I feel a heck of a lot better. It could because I said what I was thinking, or maybe its because I don't feel as upset today. Either way, I feel happier, and I hope I won't annoy the shit out of people today :)
I'm probably gonna cry. Every day. It could be just because I'm on my period, or it could be because I really do feel this way. Either one hurts like hell though.
Its not even a big deal though. Yeah, I'm going camping for two weeks. Big deal. Well it is a big deal. This is the last summer I have as a child. Next summer I will be preparing for college and so will everyone else I know. Whenever I look around, I see everything I will be leaving behind. Yes, I still have a year. That is probably where the hormones are kicking in. The thing that is making me the most upset is the fact that 'nobody' gets why I am homesick. I am homesick for going away for 2 weeks. I am homesick because after that its only another 2 weeks and school starts again. I am also homesick because I wont see Joey until a couple days before I leave. But I feel like 'nobody' gets it. Sure he will be there when I get back, but for some reason it still scares me. Everything scares me. But like everything that scares us, we have to push through it.
Hopefully I will have the best 4th of July / 17th birthday celebration ever. I hope that once I am camping, I will forget the sadness, and by the time I get back, I will be anxious to start school again like I always am at the beginning of the year. I truly hope. I also hope I'm just upset because of the abnormal balances of estrogen in my system.
Its not even a big deal though. Yeah, I'm going camping for two weeks. Big deal. Well it is a big deal. This is the last summer I have as a child. Next summer I will be preparing for college and so will everyone else I know. Whenever I look around, I see everything I will be leaving behind. Yes, I still have a year. That is probably where the hormones are kicking in. The thing that is making me the most upset is the fact that 'nobody' gets why I am homesick. I am homesick for going away for 2 weeks. I am homesick because after that its only another 2 weeks and school starts again. I am also homesick because I wont see Joey until a couple days before I leave. But I feel like 'nobody' gets it. Sure he will be there when I get back, but for some reason it still scares me. Everything scares me. But like everything that scares us, we have to push through it.
Hopefully I will have the best 4th of July / 17th birthday celebration ever. I hope that once I am camping, I will forget the sadness, and by the time I get back, I will be anxious to start school again like I always am at the beginning of the year. I truly hope. I also hope I'm just upset because of the abnormal balances of estrogen in my system.
Turned out not to be so bad. He is in a better place in his life.
I actually miss him now. I'm glad he is doing good though.
Technically I have two Dads. One is a step dad and one is a real dad. Sorry to say, my step dad has been there more for me than my real dad. I haven't even seen my real dad in over a year now? And today he wants to visit with me and my sister. Totally dreading it. Its not like I don't miss him or anything, but after being apart for so long, I think of my step dad as my dad dad and sometimes I feel like I don't even know the real one. Of course he had his reasons for leaving that I understand, but that doesn't make it any less awkward. I hope it goes smoothly.
I absolutely adore it. I'm not changing it until I can't stand it anymore.
Watercolor Flowers.
Shows my new obsession of painting.
Earlier today I woke up with a headache which was a pain, but later on Joey and Davie ended up picking me up and going to their cousin's house to swim. After a full day of playing in the water, I'm sure anyone can see what is coming next.
Both boys ended up with like a level 5 sunburn. No I'm just kidding, I don't know what the levels are, but still. They got it bad. I kinda did too, but if you can believe it, theirs was worse.
Anyways, we had a BBQ, and then I cam home. Not eventful at all, but fun to say the least. Now I'm just a little sore and itchy.
Ohhhh and I named my little bunny friend Mr. Pringles :)
Both boys ended up with like a level 5 sunburn. No I'm just kidding, I don't know what the levels are, but still. They got it bad. I kinda did too, but if you can believe it, theirs was worse.
Anyways, we had a BBQ, and then I cam home. Not eventful at all, but fun to say the least. Now I'm just a little sore and itchy.
Ohhhh and I named my little bunny friend Mr. Pringles :)
Stayed up until 1:30 doing useless crap. Well actually it wasn't entirely useless, because I finished my book and can start on the next one, but that is besides the point. I ended up getting up at 9:30 but my family kept waking me up in between.
So today, I will be going to a some weird dinner presentation for my mom's boss because Janice (the boss) needs somebody to go with and my mom volunteered me. Janice is really nice and funny, don't get me wrong, but this is going to be one boring day. Basically I have to present what the company does to rich business men around and near Yucaipa. The only thing I am excited for is that it is semi formal, and I get to wear a dress and the new sandals I got last night.
Speaking of last night, I went to market night in Yucaipa for the first time ever. Not that its significant because I haven't ever been to the one in Redlands either.... But I ended up buying a bunny charm for my phone. He is beaded, and looks pretty awesome. I just don't know what to name him.
So today, I will be going to a some weird dinner presentation for my mom's boss because Janice (the boss) needs somebody to go with and my mom volunteered me. Janice is really nice and funny, don't get me wrong, but this is going to be one boring day. Basically I have to present what the company does to rich business men around and near Yucaipa. The only thing I am excited for is that it is semi formal, and I get to wear a dress and the new sandals I got last night.
Speaking of last night, I went to market night in Yucaipa for the first time ever. Not that its significant because I haven't ever been to the one in Redlands either.... But I ended up buying a bunny charm for my phone. He is beaded, and looks pretty awesome. I just don't know what to name him.
I hate it when its late at night and there is one little flying bug by your computer screen and it just won't go away. It is super dark besides the glow of the screen, and the little bitch has to fly right in front of the screen.
I really should go to bed.
I have a slightly important day tomorrow too :)
